This may be a bit of a departure. We are asked to engage in an act of translation. Given my schoolboy French and Beginner Level Japanese and Scotsman's Australian English -- this can only end one way. Badly.
The challenge set for us was "to pick a text of any length ... and find a way of expressing it in another language". I was flummoxed for a while. "Flummoxed", by the way, is a technical term used by writers; very difficult for the lay person to understand.
Then inspiration struck. Begin at the beginning with a text that can be described only as The First Word. So here it is.
The Book of Genesis, all of Chapter 1 and verses i - iii of Chapter 2. The first seven days of creation as written in the King James Bible (first published in 1611) but translated into Twitter -- by me (looks timidly up to the heavens in anticipation of thunder bolts).
Why the King James Bible I hear you ask? Two reasons.
Only a Scottish Presbyterian -- King James 6th of Scotland and Ist of England -- would have the audacity to sponsor what was called the "authorised version" of the Word of God. As in -- authorised by wee Jimmy fae Embra.
This is the Bible I was raised on. Whatever secular pose I may adopt these days, the ideas, the words, the sometimes beautiful poetry of this 400 year old text shaped me then and influence me still. (As does the Communist Party Manifesto of 1848. But that's a different story).
Here we go then. The first seven days. In Twitter.
Genesis Chs. 1 & 2 (i-iii)
@Void: No Tweets
.
@Earth: No Tweets
@Deep: No Tweets
@Yahweh: Let there be #light
@Seraph07569: Whoa Man. Check out the #light, dude!
@Cherub032891: Cool. Behold the Man, man.
@Satan666: I could do that. #FakeNews
@Seraph001: There is #light
@Satan666: I called Day #Day & #Night #Night long before #FailingYahweh #FakeMedia
@Yahweh: Let there be #FirmamentInMidstOfWaters
@Gabriel1: @Yahweh proclaims #firmament to be divided tween #WatersUnderFirmament &WatersAboveFirmament
@Yahweh: #firmament = #heaven
@Seraph07569: Check out the #firmament, dude!
@Cherub032891: Groovy.
@Satan666: I could create the biggest ever #RealfBIGFirmament. BUILD A WALL AROUND THE FIRMAMENT. Make Angels Pay For Firmament. #FakeNews #FailingYahweh
@Yahweh: (show this thread) Let #waters under #heaven be gathered together unto one place, and let the dry #land appear … 1/
@Satan666: If I was making #Earth … @Satan666 #Earth bigger than #Jupiter plus #Venus combined. Plus free parking. #FakeNews #FailingYahweh
@Satan666: More #FakeNews from #FailingYehwah My #Earth plus #parking plus #Seas plus #CruiseShips plus #Casinos. Sooo #Good = #BetterThanHeaven
@Yahweh: (show this thread) Let #Earth bring forth #grass #herbs, #fruittrees #seeds …5.
@Satan666: I thought of that first. #Satan'sTacos better. #FakeNews #tallergrass #strongerherbs #juicierfruit with condiments & #cofefe
@Satan666: We have brighter #lights than #FailingYahweh
@Satan666: Our #signs bigger … #seasons more spicy … #days shorter … #years longer than #FakeNews #FailingYahweh
@Yahweh: (show this thread) And let them be for #lights in #firmament of #heaven 2 give #light on #earth … 3/
@Seraph07569: #light? It is so done dude!
@Cherub032891: Shiny!
@Satan666: My greatest #light greatest there has ever been. Definitely most stable genius #light. My lesser #light definitely lessest ever lit. #FailingYahweh
@Gabriel1: @Yahweh makes #stars
@Cherub032891: Psychedelic my sweet soul sister. Just wait 'til the 60s.
@Satan666: My #stars have higher ratings. No shadow of #doubt #FailingYahweh
@Gabriel1: @Yahweh sets 2 #lights & #stars in #firmament of #heaven. Gives #light upon #Earth. Rule over #Day & #Night. Divides #light from #darkness
@Yahweh: (show this thread) It is #good … 4.
@Yahweh: (show this thread) Let #waters bring forth abundantly #MovingCreatures that hath #life… 1/
@Yahweh: (show this thread) … & #fowl that may fly above #earth in the open #firmament of #heaven… 2.
@Gabriel1: @Yahweh creates great #whales
@Satan666: Our whales have bigger spouts. Last so much longer than #FailingYahweh whales.
@Gabriel1: @Yahweh creates #EveryLivingCreatureThatMoveth
@Gabriel1: @Yahweh creates #EveryWingedFowl
@Yahweh: It is #good.
@Gabriel1: @Yahweh blesses #EveryLivingCreatureThatMoveth
@Yahweh: Let #Earth bring forth #LivingCreatureAfterHisKind #cattle #CreepingThing #beast of #Earth
@Seraph07569: #LivingCreatureAfterHisKind? It is so ... SO!
@Cherub032891: Multitudinous!
@Satan666: #FakeCattle.
@Gabriel1: @Yahweh blesses every #LivingCreatureAfterHisKind #cattle #CreepingThing
@Yahweh: It is #good
@Yahweh: Let Us make #man in our image, after our likeness
@Satan666: We have #serpents
@Yahweh: Be #fruitful. #multiply. #replenish & #subdue #Earth. Have #dominion over #fish #fowl #EveryLivingCreatureThatMoveth
@Satan666: #serpents #serpents Get your #FreshSerpents here
@Gabriel1: More from @Yahweh. Gives to every #beast #fowl #CreepingThing … #EveryGreenHerb for #meat
@Satan666: Did he say Herb? Who's Herb #LockHimUp #CrookedHerbGreen
@Gabriel1: @Yahweh sees everything is #good.
@Yahweh: It is #verygood
@Gabriel1: #BreakingNews Everything is #verygood.
@Cherub032891: All the #host finished.
@Gabriel1: @Yahweh ends work Intends to rest on 7th #Day. Maybe have a barbecue. Invite round some of the Old Gods.
@Yahweh: Blessed is 7th #Day
@Satan666: Get me my #serpents. Biggest serpents ever. Easily wrap themselves around #tree #MakeEdenMineAgain #BuildEvilWallAroundRealEden #BEWARE